I had a coaching student recently ask me how they can get away from people in life who are either too toxic or too negative?

Here in a  nutshell is what I said:  Toxic people can pull you down and make you believe that your ideas and dreams are not worthwhile and will never work out.  I have been around these types of people myself.  Their comments are usually because they have never done something or they don’t want you to do something because then it might make you better than they are.  Sometimes we don’t even realize the people are negative (it is that subtle).  Here is what I do to make my decision on who should go or who should stay.

Take a look at the various people you associate with and ask yourself if the time you spend with them (on the phone, in person, at parties, at conferences, doing deals togehter) is a postive and constructive or negative a destructive.  Here are some questions to ask yourself.  When I am with this person “What have:

1.  They got me thinking

2. Got me feeling

3. Got me doing

4. Got me saying

Then the summary question to ask yourself “is that ok?”

After you ask these questions and really look at your answers ask yourself this final question:

“Are my current associations helping me grow in the direction I want?”  If the answer is no then it is time to disassociate yourself with this person and that relationship.

Now sometimes it is hard to do especially if that person is a family member.  What I have found effective is that I can still keep the relationship on a friendly basis where we don’t talk about my business or what I am doing because I know I will only feel frustrated at the end of the conversation.  Instead I keep everything light and focus on what they are doing (everyone like to talk about themselves, after all.)

Let me know what has happened in your life and if you have ever had to deal with toxic people.